Jellybean Highfive fell for it again. It was a trick, he realized now, long after anything could be done about it. The clown walked away and Jellybean just stood there, stationary, like a piece of paper lying on a hotel desk. He somehow found the intestinal fortitude to raise his head up proudly, like a fort made out of intestines, and walk down the boardwalk. Other than his despair, he was … [Read more...] about Jellybean Highfive and the White Blindness
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Jellybean Highfive and the Solitary Road of Streets
Jellybean Highfive’s unofficial detective business was booming -if booms are what explosions make. Oh, the devastation, he thought. It had blown up in his face, his third case --The Case of the Bulimic Fatty. He had found the truth at the bottom of the case, but had uncovered it in such a way as to cause it to be forever hidden, like King Tut’s coffin. Will they ever find it, he thought. “I … [Read more...] about Jellybean Highfive and the Solitary Road of Streets
Jellybean Highfive and the Bally Vicinity
Jellybean Highfive never saw it coming. It struck him in the face like a punch to the face and he reeled as if hit really hard. Down he went, descending toward the earth like a shuttle’s reentry, surely as a canon ball falls on the forts of the ship’s shore enemies. He landed and looked around, like a landlocked country searching for the sea. No one was there. Not any single some one. He … [Read more...] about Jellybean Highfive and the Bally Vicinity
Jellybean Highfive and the British Chips
Jellybean Highfive found it ironic that the least ironic person he knew worked at an iron quarry. How ironic, he thought. Then he thought something else. He looked long and hard at Chip Beetle, the aforementioned friend. Chip had a mustache. “Anyway, so that’s what I came to talk to you about,” Jellybean said, finishing a long and interesting monologue. “There’s no need to get personal, … [Read more...] about Jellybean Highfive and the British Chips
Jellybean Highfive and the Hyphenated Brew (Ha-Ha)
Like a domesticated, but powerful, robot-god, Jellybean Highfive made himself at home. He lived here after all. Whose business was it if he just sat there at the dinner-table in his three-piece suit holding a gun in one hand and a glass of near-beer in the other, with lighted candles and soon-to-be lit cigarillos? Whose? The ATF? Whose? He sniffed the near-beer, nearly baptizing his nose-tip in … [Read more...] about Jellybean Highfive and the Hyphenated Brew (Ha-Ha)
Last (featuring Jellybean Highfive and C.S. Lewis, among others)
Jellybean Highfive stood at the entrance of the house called Diffident Manor. He walked in reluctantly, stood in the doorway in an unassuming fashion. He had been invited here by invitation. ‘Place looks odd,’ he thought inside his mind, with his thoughts. “Hello, stranger,” a voice said from in front of him. The voice belonged to a woman --a curvaceous, vivacious, hellacious woman. “I’m Vivica … [Read more...] about Last (featuring Jellybean Highfive and C.S. Lewis, among others)
BLAST TO SMITHEREENS: Audiobooks, Stock, & My Wild Foray Into the Teeth of the Essential Oils Cartel
January News Hallo! We are literally having a blast. You are being blasted to Smithereens. Or I am blasting to Smithereens. Somebody is exploding here. #Smithereens #Blast #Successing It’s all happening. November and December were bananas and we were not quite able to keep up with demand and have over and over run out of stock on Amazon. Good problem, sure. We finally, after much travail, have … [Read more...] about BLAST TO SMITHEREENS: Audiobooks, Stock, & My Wild Foray Into the Teeth of the Essential Oils Cartel
Literary Critic Raves at Emerging Ukelele Talent: “Greatest…hands down.”
"S.D. Smith is the greatest ukelele player who has written stories about me, hands down," said Jellybean Highfive, interesting person. "Seriously, put your hands down. Right now," he went on. "He also has beautiful hair," he added, "and a firm grip on the intricacies of the religious habits of birds. I expect his forthcoming volume, Ornitheology, to be nearly as amazing as the forthcoming volume … [Read more...] about Literary Critic Raves at Emerging Ukelele Talent: “Greatest…hands down.”
Ready, Set, Hut.
Note: This was posted last week at The Rabbit Room and there were lots of funny comments. If you want to join that conversation, go here (there, I mean). If you're a writer, admit it. You have always wanted a "writer's hut." According to a source close to me, a writer's hut is a little structure set apart from the bustle of home life, dedicated to eliminating distractions and focusing the … [Read more...] about Ready, Set, Hut.
Talkin’ ’bout Freed’m
"Freedom isn't free, but the delicious samples at Sam's Club are." Jellybean Highfive … [Read more...] about Talkin’ ’bout Freed’m
The Ice, Ice Baby Catechism
Since there's an epidemic of DIY spirituality among us ("You say that like it's a bad thing!"), I began to consider the logical, progressive consequences. This led me to the inevitability of...people basing their religion on Vanilla Ice. The three main tenants of the faith would be Stopping, Collaborating, and Listening. But we must go deeper. Here's The Ice, Ice Baby Catechism, with … [Read more...] about The Ice, Ice Baby Catechism