The Dealio on Words No One Should Be Allowed to Say

I bet you’re thinking cuss words, right? Why the [redacted] would you think that?

No, these are worse than so-called cuss words. These are words that make me want to so-called cuss.

If I…were the king…of the foreeeeeest….no one would be allowed to say these words –without fear of being put in the comfy chair and poked with the soft cushions.

The Offending Words, Corporal, if you please!

Protip
Here’s a Protip: Never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever say “Protip.”

Ancient
I used to be fine with this word UNTIL MY WIFE POINTED OUT THAT I DON’T KNOW HOW TO PRONOUNCE IT. Now, I feel like I’m six years old every time I say it.

Absofruitly
It’s like it’s Dr. Moreau’s island and they mixed fruit with absolute. A hideous beast!

Coolio
Like that show you never liked when it was originally on, but the reruns NEVER END.

Dealio
This so-called word makes the perfectly-fine word “deal” feel like a square. It’s like those Mac-snob commercials. You’re so cool with your hands in your pockets and you look so relaxed while the pasty guy with his shirt tucked in falls all over the TV screen. So your computers are awesome and fashionable, Leo. Great job, Leo. Big Deal, Leo.

Julio
I know, this is wrong. I actually love this word/name. But I wanted another –io-ending word. (Guilt by association?) You and no one down by the school yard, I guess.

Crave
I actually do hate this word and always have. “I’m craving a bag of potato chips.” It’s revolting, like communists.

Philanderer
I feel like I am one after I say it, it’s so gross.

OK, that was silly. I’m craving your participation. What words do you hate? How dumb is it to hate certain words? What’s the dealio on that?

21 Comments

  1. I have a thing about “upcoming” thanks to a college professor of mine. I can’t hear it without thinking about vomit. Talking about the “upcoming Valentine’s banquet” sort of takes the romance out of it for me, you know?

  2. Vigilance. Because I can’t pronounce it right. I always cross it with diligence, and end up with viligance and digilence.

    Also, Gameify. And Incentivize. Even though I use the latter… ugh.

  3. “Normal”. My kids were discussing about what is normal and what isn’t. I told them that the only thing that is normal is the original. Adam and Eve were “normal”, we are not. Plus, say “normal” several times, over and over, sounds horrible!

  4. Syrup. No matter how I pronounce it, it sounds weird. We need another word for the sticky, sappy delicious-ness.

  5. Unique, especially when it includes adjectives like “very unique.” I mean how many degrees of “one of a kind” can there be.

  6. “Monetize”
    “Blanch”

    Can I nominate phrases? If so, I nominate “my bad”. For some reason, this has come to be considered as equal to an apology, when it isn’t.

    (More to come. I’m feeling curmudgeonly.)

  7. I’m very tolerant of words. Not a hater. However, I do find myself becoming audibly desensitized to certain annoying filler verbiage: Epic, Amazing, Outstanding, Brilliant (sorry HP fans), Dude, Chill, Totally. I will admit, though, that I could learn to actually hate the word Redonkulous.

  8. Why am I responding to these one at a time? Inefficient! I cease!

    Cyndap– But now so many of us complain about it that saying it RIGHT is getting annoying! 🙂

  9. I did it again. Epic Fail, like, totally.

    Stephanie– That’s a new one to me. Abnormal!

    Andrew– Canadians can’t play. You talk weird and you lost the War of 1812.

    Alyssa– Thanks a lot, now I’ll never quite see that word the same again, either. I gotta go, I have some upcoming meals to prepare.

    Thanks for commenting you bunch of haters!

  10. Oh Sam, if only you had known you were speaking prophecy with that last comment. Ugh. Did anyone mention, “Awesome sauce?” Cause that’s pretty annoying too.

  11. I would like to add “pacific”…mostly because I always hear it substituted for specific.

    Can you give me a “pacific” example?

  12. Caramel gets in my crawl. Particularly makes the speaker sound drunk. Scab sounds too much like what it is, therefore grosses me out. Crotch. I don’t like that one. And I’ll just say it…nipple. I feel like I’ve just toed a line, but it had to be said. I also hate supple. Apple I like, but not as a name. Moist – no. Sasquatch is only surpassed by its shorthand version, Squatch. I tell you a word a I love: Guacamole. But I hate it when people call it Guac.

  13. Any trendy hackneyed word or phrase:

    “Plethora” (ugh, wannabe. It says, “I’m really trying to sound clever.”)

    “Having said that…” (Tired of it. There are just too many other ways to transition thoughts.)

    And that’s why…

    I love “hackneyed”! It’s more than a word. It modifies the person using it, has attitude. Sounds like your spitting…oooh, that’s not a nice word, but I like it too, especially when coupled with “…into the wind.” That is so graphic and I love words pics.

    Good post Sam!

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